I am not sure if the request to “prove your love to me” is still around today, but I am sure that we all know that it refers to losing your virginity with the person who will supposedly be the one to receive your love forever. One way or another, the virtual feeling remains and marriage symbolizes this commitment, independently of whether one is a virgin or not.
The real proof of one’s love is made daily. It’s about making the commitment to stay together during good times and bad, enjoying the great times and accompanying each other hand in hand through the hard times.
Although it may seem simple, it is not, because modern life teaches us to be individualists, to think about our needs first, and because we often resolve conflicts with short-term solutions that we later regret.
The person who successfully proves their love in marriage is the person who sets the couple as their top priority, that is, the person who asks him or herself what is best for them both. A common mistake involves believing that the other person’s needs come first.
In Latin American culture, many women believe that in order to have a good marriage, they must keep their men happy. Later these women feel frustrated because they are left aside and they wonder,
“Who responds to my every need?”
Deciding what is best for both of you might mean no longer doing things that bother your partner, but if this means leaving aside part of who you are or no longer doing things that are important to you, then personal resentment will affect your relationship with your partner. So this is not the best for your marriage.
Without a doubt, living this way implies that both of you agree on the decision, which makes it necessary to talk to each other and share each other’s expectation.
The original version of this article – in Spanish – was published in the Summer 2008 issue of Bodas USA magazine.